A Swell Guide to Growing up Already, and Being a Man.

oliver-strewe-man-and-boy-watching-work-oriomo-plateau-western-papua-new-guineaWelcome to my 100th Blog post on How to be Swell! What better way to celebrate 100 posts than to go back to basics and discuss what it takes to be Swell! I stumbled across a great list of what it means to be a man the other day, I found it on Business Insider, feel free to read it in its entirety. I was inspired by some of what was there to compile my own list, maybe you could call this post “finally the follow up to Frederick Douglass on Being Swell” . Nah, I like a Swell Guide to Growing up Already.

So I co-opted this list read from  @GSElevator and John Carney (@Carney) of CNBC.com  and edited it to suit my swell readers and added some quotes that are meaningful to me as well We’ve all seen and perhaps grown tired of guides and lists that are full of tedious clichés and humdrum regurgitated meme wisdom.  so, here is a swell look at what it means to be a swell man today loosely categorized, now Grow up already.

In Work

  • If riding the bus doesn’t incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
  • Measure yourself only against your previous self.
  • Stop talking about where you went to college.
  • #StopItWithTheHastags
  •  Take more pictures.  With a camera.
  • Place-dropping is worse than name-dropping.
  • A man’s got to have a code to live by, no matter his occupation.
  • No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
  • There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
  • One cannot always be a hero, but one can always be a man

In Your Wardrobe

  • Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.
  • Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
  • If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.
  • Buy expensive sunglasses.  Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
  • Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
  • Ask for a salad instead of fries.
  • Cobblers will save your shoes. So will shoe trees.
  • Tailors will save your suits. So will wooden hangers.
  • Piercings are liabilities in fights.
  • Do not use an electric razor.
  • Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.
  • Your clothes do not match. They go together.

In the World

  • A glass of wine with lunch will not ruin your day.
  • When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
  • Be a regular at more than one bar.
  • Avoid that “last” whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.
  • Tip more than you should.resolver
  • Don’t split a check.
  • When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
  • Always carry cash.  Keep some in your front pocket.
  • Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
  • Don’t gamble if losing $100 is going to piss you off.
  • It is not the situation that makes the man, but the man who makes the situation.

With Friends

  • You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.
  • Act like you’ve been there before.  It doesn’t matter if it’s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
  • Eat brunch with friends at least once a month. Leave Rusty and Junior at home.
  • People tire of you being the funny, drunk guy.
  • When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go.
 And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
  • You probably use your cell phone too often and at the wrong moments.
  • You may only request one song from the DJ, make it count.
  • Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
  • Drink outdoors.
 And during the day.
 And sometimes by yourself.
  • If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away… unless you know someone.
  • When you are invited to go somewhere or try something new, say yes as often as you can, you never know what you might miss out on.
  • Show me who you honor, and I will know the character of your person, for that shows me what your ideal of character is, and what kind of person you long to be.

In Love

  • When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
  • Be spontaneous.
  • No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman and friends.
  • Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
  • Don’t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life. There may still be a mortally wounded Russian mobster roaming the woods of south Jersey, but we’ll never know.
  • Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
  • If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud venues.
  • Staying angry is a waste of energy.
  • You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
  • you have to be a man, before you can become a gentleman
  • Stand true to your calling to be a man. Real women will always be relieved and grateful when men are willing to be men.

In Life

  • Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party – provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading …”
  • When you admire the work of artists or writers, tell them. 
And spend money to acquire their work.
  • You don’t have to like baseball, but you should understand the concept of what a pitcher’s ERA means.  Approach life similarly.
  • Own a handcrafted shotgun.  It’s a beautiful thing.
  • Start a collection for your kids when they are born. It’ll make a phenomenal gift in twenty years.
  • In the modern technology culture it is feasible to drift from infancy to senility and never experience adulthood.
  • If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
  • Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”
  • It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

In Manhood

  • Manhood is he defeat of childhood narcissism
  • sufficient for the day is its own troubles, let tomorrow worry about itself.
  • Never look back and regret anything in your life, all of your experiences make up who you are today, If something were different, you might not like who are anymore.

And from me: Approach everything you do in life honestly and with class, integrity and tact and you will always remain swell.man_vs_boy

(images courtesy of: hamiltonag.org, allpostersimages.com)

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4 responses to “A Swell Guide to Growing up Already, and Being a Man.

  1. This is flipping awesome! I was looking for other blogs on manliness and I found one! I love that quote, “One cannot always be a hero, but one can always be a man.”

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